Real Writer Problems

So I've posted before that I don't always 'feel' like an author. And I've posted that my path to publication with Game Plan wasn't really typical. Now I'm at my desk again to write and instead I'm muddling through some other tasks and I'm thinking maybe this is what'll make me feel like a 'real author'.

I need to look into finding an agent... which is code for "send your heart and soul out at the mercy of the people to be squashed and burned". Okay that might be a little melodramatic, but it does look scary - instead of offering up one book for submission to publishers, I offer up myself and my entire work to one person. They can say 'no you suck'. Check that, they don't even say 'no, you suck', from what I can gather you submit and wait and if you don't hear from them you assume you suck. I might be taking the whole process a little too personally.  Other writerly types say the right agent is a must have, and actually the more I research the more I really like the idea of having a Super Agent in my corner... I just gotta find the right one.

AND I'm applying for a grant again. I had applied a few times before without success. There's only so much money to go around and I'm sure there's lots of deserving writers in Nova Scotia. Now that I've published one book, there are more opportunities so I'm jumping back in the game.

SO on this Writing Day Friday I'm not really writing - I'm researching and emailing and compiling supporting material and drawing up synopses and editing and everything else but WRITING my WIP. SO maybe that's what a real writer does?

N

PS, I was going to search for a picture that illustrated the chaos I tried to describe above, but thought a cute picture of my cat might work better because a cute picture of a cat ALWAYS works better. Here's my cat giving my puppy some love.

Well Phewy

I mentioned I was waiting... and some of my waiting is over.

I got my 'thanks but no thanks' letter in response to the grant I applied for back in May. I've applied now three times and gotten this letter - pretty much word for word the same - three times. Ouch.

There's a lot of risk in this writing thing. You know that dream where you show up at school naked? Well it's not quite that, but there are a lot of similarities. To write a book - well, not all books, those 'for Dummies' books probably don't count. Or cookbooks - but to write most other books you have to lay out words that are sprinkled with bits of yourself. Ew. That sounds gross. I mean to write a book that is relevant to readers, something that people will CARE about, you have to put something relatable in it. You have to show yourself. And not the macho tough self, unless you are writing for macho tough readers. So while I expect to be fully clothed at any public sharing of Game Plan or The Second One, each time I share it with someone - or anyone - I'm exposed.

So I wrote an application asking for funding. Showed them a little bit of my story (of me). It's tough to keep it objective. Of course there's nothing personal - they filter through piles of applications and only have so much to give out - but when I read that 'thanks but no thanks' letter, it takes a lot of effort to remember that.

Bottom line is, it doesn't change anything. I don't write stories to get rich (though that would be nice, eh JK?) so receiving funding only makes things easier. There's always next time.

N

In Between

For the past few years I've worked pretty consistently on two projects - Game Plan and The Second One (don't have a title I like for that one).

Game Plan just went back to the publishers last week and to an outside editor today - whom I'm told is very nice, not scary at all, we'll see about that. I get it back July 25, which feels like a lifetime right now.

The Second One has been submitted to publisher, and I'm waiting to hear back from them to know if it's a good fit. I love it. But every mother loves their ugly child too, right?

I applied for a grant through the Dept of Communities, Culture and Heritage in the NS Gov't. I've had two rejections so far so the current application may be as much an effort to out-stubborn their jury as it is an attempt to gain financial support for my fledgling second career.

In summary, I'm waiting. I should try to be productive while I'm waiting but I'm a full time waiter... I think while I wait and I think about waiting and I wonder and worry and stress and fret and whatif every scenario and I don't get anything done.

N

Finding the way in...

I'm at a pause today - Game Plan revisions are coming back to me on Monday (SO NERVOUS!) and Book Two (don't like it's working title) is edited completely for the third? fourth? time. I'm spending today researching opportunities to have my work read - contest, grants, publication submissions, workshops, etc. It's daunting. The internet is a wonderful source of information. And scams. It's hard for me to see one from the other. If I could find a couple of good, trustworthy connections, I would have a much better handle on what's available and what's worthwhile - and could stop pestering My Publishers (still love saying that) with silly rookie questions.

And if Abby would decide if she wants to sit in my lap or not (instead of the up/down pattern she's holding this am), that would be a bonus.

N

Funding and Grants

Today's writing day was absorbed by writing a Grant application. I've applied twice before and received the same 'thanks but no thanks' letter six weeks later. This time I was able to ask for direction from My Publisher (teehee) and they have given me great suggestions. Who knew that a grant app for WRITING would have to be organized, specific, detailed and concise? You mean narrative reasoning and eloquent description doesn't work? I even dusted off my ancient Excel skills (thank you Acadia science labs) and made a 'Gantt Chart'. (I'm not going to tell you what that is, you'll have to google it yourself, just like I did).

My hope for receiving the grant decreases with each application but I still submit - they won't say 'yes' unless I ask, right? It would be nice to have some 'pay' for the time I spend writing instead of seeing my little pals at work, but in the end the pay is the least important part. (SHH. Don't tell Steve). Grant or no grant, I'm determined to find a way to spend two days poking at this laptop and creating worlds.

N