A friend recommended the book The Art of Asking by Amanda Palmer and I listened to it during our trip last winter. Pretty impressive book. At one point I had one of those moments where a fear I thought was mine alone was described and named and I realized I wasn't alone. She called it the Fraud Police. There are moments where I am sure I have fooled everyone around me to think I actually knew what I was doing, was worth their respect, was good at something. I've had it in all aspects of my life - professionally thought, "Who in their right mind gave me a realcertificate to practice speech pathology?" in my parenting pretty much from "They let me leave the hospital with him?" to "I'm sure children's services will be by any minute to try and salvage this royal f*ck up of a job I'm doing".
But what it pertains to here is my writing.
What is a writer? This is what Google says:
I am the writer of three books, but that sounds suspiciously past tense.
I write books, though "job" is a strong word.
And when I'm sitting at my desk trying to write something that is stuck, or pretending to write but getting distracted by everything from cat videos to Facebook - am I still a writer? What if I stay stuck forever and never get another good book out - am I a writer then?
And what makes success? A finished book? A published book? A good review? Ten, twenty, a hundred good reviews? A best seller? I'm targeting the Nobel. They must feel pretty pleased with themselves. :)
To be a writer, as I understand it, you have to be open to inner dialogue. There are a lot of voices competing for my attention - dialogues between characters, dialogues I have with myself...
I've been struggling with my WIP. A historical fiction type book with a unique narrator and POV. It's been a fight to get my ideas down on paper. I have the general idea of the story in my head, I have done some bullet outlining of events - both real historical happenings and story bits that coincide. I have the characters dancing about and shouting at each other. But it's like I'm watching it all through foggy glass so I can't see or hear the details.
And one voice in my head is saying "Just get down the general story, worry about the details and the specifics later." and another voice is saying "Wow, that really sucks. You don't have a story here, you can't call yourself a writer. And besides, you ate cake for breakfast, no wonder you're fat!" (yeah, that voice is an asshole, and gets the podium waaaaay too often).
I'm plugging away at it.
In happier news - Aptitude has received several positive and glowing reviews! I'm so happy people like the story! Someone even called it one of her 'favourite books of all time' (and it wasn't my mom).
The Indiegogo campaign for It Should Have Been a #GoodDay is doing fantastic and many people are preordering the book. I've raised some money for the Rehteah Parsons Society too! AND the cover reveal is on there - if you haven't seen it, go check it out. It's beautiful, if I do say so myself, fantastic work done by Valerie Bellamy at Dog-Ear Book Design.
Sooo, now I go write and try to silence the moron in my head.
Today marks the start of my gearing up for my February release!!!
In February I turn 40. What better way to mark this milestone birthday than with a book birthday and a release party?
My third novel, It Should Have Been a #GoodDay is written, edited, proofed and ready to share. I'm turning it over to an excellent designer, Valerie Bellamy at Dog-Ear Book Design for her to work her magic to make the inside LOOK as awesome as the story sounds. She has already produced a beautiful cover, which will be revealed SOOOON!
I had great experiences publishing Game Plan and Aptitude with Fierce Ink Books. I've made great friends and fantastic professionals through them. That said, I wanted to see what this 'self publishing' is all about. I've used a lot of my professional contacts from my first two publications to build a publishing team that took my little story and made it a real, live, novel. I was excited to work again with Allister Thompson and Colleen McKie and it was great to meet Valerie!
But all that professional support costs money. I've launched an Indiegogo campaign that will let you guys get first dibs on pre-orders and help me pay for making this book awesome. Check it out! And share it with your peeps!