Fraud Police

A friend recommended the book The Art of Asking by Amanda Palmer and I listened to it during our trip last winter. Pretty impressive book. At one point I had one of those moments where a fear I thought was mine alone was described and named and I realized I wasn't alone. She called it the Fraud Police. There are moments where I am sure I have fooled everyone around me to think I actually knew what I was doing, was worth their respect, was good at something. I've had it in all aspects of my life - professionally thought, "Who in their right mind gave me a real certificate to practice speech pathology?" in my parenting pretty much from "They let me leave the hospital with him?" to "I'm sure children's services will be by any minute to try and salvage this royal f*ck up of a job I'm doing".

But what it pertains to here is my writing.

What is a writer? This is what Google says:

I am the writer of three books, but that sounds suspiciously past tense.

I write books, though "job" is a strong word.

And when I'm sitting at my desk trying to write something that is stuck, or pretending to write but getting distracted by everything from cat videos to Facebook - am I still a writer? What if I stay stuck forever and never get another good book out - am I a writer then?

And what makes success? A finished book? A published book? A good review? Ten, twenty, a hundred good reviews? A best seller? I'm targeting the Nobel. They must feel pretty pleased with themselves. :)

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